Elias brought home 4 White Cloud fish from school the week before Christmas break. We put them in a fish bowl and admired them for a few days.
Then, they were ignored for a couple of weeks. When the stench became too much to handle, I finally changed the water. And 3 of the 4 fish did not survive the shock of the water change. But, the last one dubbed ‘LEGO Piece’ by Elias, “because he’s as small as a LEGO piece,” endured… until last Friday, that is.
I learned how to change the water properly and LEGO Piece made it through the 2nd change, but he was not so lucky on the 3rd. We returned home from another follow-up appointment with the doctor* when Elias said, “Mom, what’s wrong with LEGO Piece – he looks like he’s dead.” Well son, that’s because he is, in fact, dead.
Now, I need to back up a bit and explain that when each of the previous 3 fishes died, no one really noticed. I simply flushed each one down the drain when it stopped swimming & started floating. Eventually, the boys noticed we only had one fish left, but it really wasn’t that big of a deal.
But, maybe because ‘LEGO Piece’ had a name, maybe because he was the survivor, maybe because Elias was the one to notice – his death mattered. Elias became very sad & mopey so I thought maybe we needed to have a funeral to say goodbye. So I asked him, “Do you want to have a funeral for ‘LEGO Piece’, you could say something nice & then we’ll flush him down the toilet.”
He replied, “No, but can we bury him… in a box… in my room?”
I explained that he could not keep a dead fish in his room and we compromised on a good place outside by the fort.
“Can we make him a grave stone, Mom?”
Sure. We found a nice rock & wrote on it with red sharpie “LEGO Piece RIP” and added a stone from the fish bowl gravel.
I’m not sure how much this process helped Elias feel better, though. When I asked him to take a nap later in the day (since he’s still recovering from pneumonia) he was in his bed crying, “I just really miss LEGO Piece.” It was sad, but at the same time made me think we need to be sure to give the boys (mostly Elias) a realistic view of the lifespan of a fish, if we get anymore. At least he got to say goodbye?
*BTW – Elias is still on the slow road to full recovery from pneumonia. He had follow-up blood tests done at his appointment last Friday and the results were better (not normal, yet – but better.) We will return for another visit, but this time in two weeks. (He was happy to hear he didn’t have to get a ‘needle’ for a bit longer this time.) He has returned to school, but still laying low on physical activity. Thanks so much for all the prayers!!
